her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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