The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
