How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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