we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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