I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
did i just pee glitter
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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