I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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