im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
