What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize