WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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