Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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