I puked a lego.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize