also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
