I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
