Duck Duck Cougar?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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