I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
