Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She announced her abortion via fbk
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
