Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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