it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
