we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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