even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
