Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
being pregnant is like rehab
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
