I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
