just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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