So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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