Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
