fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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