Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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