I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
