im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
