He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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