Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
