oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
