dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i believe in u and ur pee
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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