Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I need to calm my uterus...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
