She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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