none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We are two peas in an std pod
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Randomize