We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
