I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Damn victory sex feels great
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
