rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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