dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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