i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
