this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
