If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
