yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
