At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
