??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
