Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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