Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
