i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
