I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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