so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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