don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
