Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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