No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
