Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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