I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
