brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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